Fight World Hunger

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Thursday, December 16, 2004

wasting time

I have all these things in my head. Images. Phrases. Taglines. Specifications. Drawings. Thoughts. People.

All these things keep me up even though I want to be sleeping. Just as it is right now.

I know if I flip over and close my eyes, I would instantly feel better than in my position at the moment.

But yet I persist. If I don't stop then I would just go on the whole night. Working. Formulating.

So many things to do tomorrow, accomplishing them slowly seems to take too long...

I can't wait that long.

I always feel like I don't have enough time. I don't like wasting time.

I don't like waiting for people.

Unless something happens while waiting. Then, its not time wasted.

But that hardly ever happens, so its a waste of time, the whole waiting business.

What am I waiting for now?

Probably some sense to return so I can close this thing, turn over, and get some sleep.

But I know I won't. Coz I'll still be thinking.

Darn. I can never win now, can I?

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The makings of a good year

You know that feeling? The one where you know that everything is going to be okay, when the weather pleasant, the passing breeze cooling, and the air crisp and unexpectedly fresh, the sun is shining and there's clear blue skies above, and for that brief moment you can almost hear background music. Of course you know that's in your head, but its the feeling that you know that the year is coming to an end, and the new year is beginning.

My parents have always called it 'kuo nin fung', which translates literally to 'new year breeze', which was always very uplifting somehow. Its one of the few times where everyone just stops for that brief moment, and once its over you just get on with your life, but everything seems to be better.

For me, I take these moments and experience some flashbacks through the events that occured throughout the course of the year. Its quite amazing how many things happen within a year, how many conversations you have, how many people you meet. This has been one of the more eventful years, even though I think that every year has its significances, this year seems to be what I call a resiliency-building year. Somehow life's experiences, as they say, if doesn't kill you, should make you stronger. I liked how resilient I've become, even though I probably ought to work on my cynicism. But its also a year that I've learnt to just let it go, let loose, and just take things easy. Frankly, I actually enjoy not thinking about things too much and just let it happen naturally.

Of course things don't happen automatically if you're at a standstill, some things require certain actions, or nudges, if you will. I liked how things just came together in the end, you know? Life hardly was more exciting or meaningful when I was just going about my routines. Now I'm working a lot harder, a lot longer, but I'm enjoying what I do - that makes a big difference.

This seems like something I'd write during new year, but I'm in the mood now, who knows what will happen in 15 days right? I hope that everyone has had a great year so far, and if they didn't, at least learnt a lesson or two in the process, and just keep focused on your dreams, and things will get better from then'll see.

Monday, December 13, 2004

The alignment of the planets

Life is chaotic, which presents itself in series of challenges, but once you sit down, take a deep breath, and begin to find solutions to these challenges, once you start to relax, things will fall into place fairly easily.

For the longest time I was looking for glass. Glass for the coffee table I was making, that is, and without much luck at that. Apparently they don't sell small quantities, most of them would say. I was in the midst of shopping for alternative materials, which would be glass, wood, bamboo, steel, that kinda thing, and I needed to know which reliable source I can get these things from.

It must have been the alignment of the planets, or something universal like that but today, just a short drive from my office, there it was, glass glazier trading, a shop that was dedicated to making your glass dreams come true. I stood in awe surrounded by different types of different thicknesses, with helpful assistance to boot.

Its funny how impatient most Malaysians are, they want it cheap, they want it fast, and they want it to have superhuman powers. I finally gave in to temptation and decided to ask the universally dreaded question - 'This glass...can break ah?' haha, I just had to do it, people have done it to me for months, and every single time I have to say 'yes, but all glass can break one...' which expectedly was the answer I got. So I asked if they had tempered glass, and the first thing she said was, 'but, its quite expensive...and you have to wait, coz we have to order.' I asked, 'How long?' and she said 'About 2 or 3 days?'. To me 3 days is nothing considering I had been looking for weeks, and price wasn't a really huge factor if they could make it to specification, which was the most excellent bit, I was sick of seeing blank looks when I asked for 600x600x8mm tempered glass with bevelled edges. Now I can create wood/glass structures with ease, that's a whole different level altogether, and one of the many reasons why life is good, and worth living.

The planets are now aligned. Its about bloody time it should anyway.