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Saturday, September 07, 2002

Fwd: Cow terms

*Thought this was amusing.
Elby
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This is a multi-part message in MIME format.



> This is interesting....
>
> > The Enron debacle explained, in simple cow terms -
> > PLUS how International Corporations work.
> >
> > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one and buy a bull.
> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> > You sell them and retire on the income.
> >
> >
> > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
> > using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
> > then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
> > so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows.
> > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
> > to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder
> > who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> > The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
> > on one more.
> > Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
> > you with nine cows.
> > No balance sheet provided with the release.
> > The public buys your bull.
> >
> >
> > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> > You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
> >
> >
> > A FRENCH CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You go on strike because you want three cows.
> >
> >
> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> > and produce twenty times the milk.
> > You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and
> > market them World-Wide.
> >
> >
> > A GERMAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
> > and milk themselves.
> >
> >
> > A BRITISH CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > Both are mad.
> >
> >
> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> > You break for lunch.
> >
> >
> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
> >
> >
> > A SWISS CORPORATION
> > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> > You charge others for storing them.
> >
> >
> > A CHINESE CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You have 300 people milking them.
> > You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
> > You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
> >
> > AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You worship them.
> >
> > A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > One cow-beh and one cow-bu.
> >

Sunday, September 01, 2002

Conversations in my head

No matter how loud I speak,
you'll only hear a whisper,
because you aren't listening...
The brightest light appears to be,
the darkest corner,
because you refuse to see...
I'm trying to make sense,
but reason is not on my side,
perhaps its because there isn't any...
Perhaps the truth is more difficult to digest,
and the lies are just sugar-coated niceties,
that mask the ugliness we try to bury.
This is the truth that we eventually face,
reality such as death,
we try not to think about it, and be happy,
until the day comes...
Do we know how to deal with it?
Will we be sad? Cry? Break down?
I don't know if I will just sit there,
staring blankly...into nothingness,
mind goes numb, feel disabled.
Act disabled. Speak in a stutter.
Avoid everyone. Everything.
How will you move on,
when you are stationary?
How will you sleep,
when you are awake?
How do you live,
when you're already dying?