Fight World Hunger

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Wednesday, April 17, 2002

Quiet contemplation

Its been a whole half month that passed ever since the last posting. It feels different to be sitting here again. It wasn't like I wasn't thinking for a whole half a month, but its just that sometimes your life doesn't seem to be worth mentioning, you know? I am not saying that it is worth mentioning now, hehe. Anyway I haven't had coffee in quite a while so the after effects have probably sunk in. Withdrawal symptoms, I guess. I retract from society like an escargot in a French kitchen.

Talking about escargots I had my first the other day in a restaurant after work. You see I always believed that things that I don't like will harm me in some way, like jellyfish, stingrays, octopuses and certain kinds of people. Hmm, that would make it more seafoody than people. Hey, I created a new word. Seafoody. So basically I'll avoid them because I think I'm allergic to them. I don't know if I really am allergic though, like prawns, I know I am somewhat allergic, I get rashes, but I eat them anyway. Sometimes picking prawns out of a plate of 'char kuey teow' is like both time consuming and a slight insult to the chef, he would probably think, if you didn't want prawns why didn't you say so you little ****. But thats what I think. So anyway back to the snail-thing. It came loose from the shell like how all dead slugs are supposed to be. It was like a piece of chicken, you know, only...darker. I had anticipated it to be more slimy, but the texture was like sashimi. Garlic flavored sashimi. Its gross when I think about my schooling days where I would bring a canister of salt and laugh in maniacal glee as I disintegrate the garden snails by sprinkling. It was gross and it let off a pungent smell that I seriously don't want to remember. However, as I was eating the supposed delicacies. I did.

Talking about sea animals, I watched something on National Geographic the other day, yes, the first sign of non-social interaction begins when you are channel surfing after a long day's work and then a bunch of sea octopuses look like an interesting thing to watch. Firstly, I never liked octopuses. It must have been some cartoons that I saw. I think it was Popeye, you know, where he would battle this monster octopus, no wait, that's a movie with Robin Williams, so anyway octopuses are like squids. They have eyes, they look shady, and there's certainly something up their tentacle. Yuck, definitely the tentacles as well. I had always associated them with something evil and sinister. Its a wonder why some people eagerly chow down these faceless sea creatures with their nasi lemak and sambal every morning. I watched as octopuses slid from the ocean bed, or one fed on a shark, imagine that! And an octopus that fed on another octopus. I thought that was gross actually, its like cannibalism. I can bet you they don't even know the concept of cannibalism. Perhaps he was just having 'breakfast'.

So today I just watched this movie called 'I am Sam', and finally at that! I had wanted to watch it since a long time ago. It was touching, with excellent performances from the cast, and the little girl, Lucy was so cute! It really makes me wonder about what and where my life is headed sometimes. What I really want. I think somehow life is headed on this predetermined course, work, get married, have kids, die. Perhaps that is a more realist approach towards life. Some may say, ah, that's boring! I want to get out of the loop! But then I think what if its not really about the structure that matters? What if its the experiences along the way that counts? Then all the fanatic and 'think different' thoughts of skydiving, or endangering your life with extreme sports or even buying something exorbitant and expensive wouldn't matter. The more I think about it the less it matters actually. I want a simple life, a happy life. Something that I can reflect on every now and then and say to myself, yes, I am headed towards the right direction, and I am happy with it. I don't need to experience any side of extremity just to prove a point. It seems to make less sense as I get older.

But perhaps I am a little more mellow now wrapped in my comforter with the air conditioning bringing the temperature in the room low enough to be comfortable. But perhaps I really am making sense.